Grade 4, Lesson 5, Day 2 ~ If I Could Start Today Over ...

... I would, because today sucked. I didn't even have to be the one to tell Papa ~ T-Guy spilled it before I got a chance. "We had a hard time with school this morning." Understatement.

I will take full responsibility for this, as I am the adult and I am the one who sets the tone and holds the space. I should have been more patient with the boys today, instead of being frustrated. My attitude was wrong. Any morning that ends with me wishing that my boys were in public school suggests that I need an attitude adjustment.

It doesn't even matter what we did. When I realized that it was a helpless day I should have put down the broom, sat with the boys, and helped them, even if it was work that I thought they could do on their own ~ I was wrong, and I can't fault them for not giving me the easy morning I had planned.

You see, we had a fall celebration to attend this afternoon, which meant lessons needed to to completed, water bottles filled, park bags packed, and lunch eaten a little early. In addition, Tuesdays are when I do a good job on the floors and touch up the bathrooms. I wanted to do that this morning since I knew we'd be gone all afternoon.

We headed to the park with Mama in a foul mood. The morning had been frustrating and stressful and I didn't even want to go any longer. I couldn't recall how to get to this specific park. I thought the boys had taken my chair out of the car. But we arrived, my chair had been put back in the car, and I finally settled down and had a nice out-breath.

Tomorrow the boys get my full attention when they need it. It just isn't worth getting frustrated with them ~ they can sense it even when I try to hide it. I can forgive myself for today and make preparation to do better tomorrow; that is something I very much like to model. I'm guessing that by the time Papa comes home from lunch we will have had a great morning.


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