Grade 4, Spring Term, Beowulf Week 3, Day 5 ~ Renewal, or at Least Perspective

Yesterday I wrote:

I don't see the benefit of homeschooling a child who isn't enjoying it when it brings discord to the home and conflict to the child-parent relationship. I think the only reason I am still homeschooling J-Baby is that I am concerned that he will be labeled if we put him in school and that they will be suggesting medication and that he won't ever have the chance to prove himself because he will be deemed a problem child.

That was rather harsh, wasn't it? I feel the impulse to go back and edit away the words. But you know, it was the truth of our yesterday. I felt like my toolbox was empty, that I had done everything I could and that it was simple too hard. And yet I was reminded of something Dale McGowan wrote in Raising Freethinkers:

Unless we are willing to act on our ideals when it's most challenging, they aren't worth pursuing even in the good times.

Would I really give up home education because it is hard? Because day in and day out the struggles appear to compromise our attached relationship? Am I really not able to make them work together, attachment parenting and home education?

I know that things have to change, but I also know that the change has to happen here, that sending J-Baby to school would steal from both of our ideals, attachment parenting and home education. Yes, some people can raise attached children and send them to school, but it sure is more natural when you don't.

I honestly don't see most of J-Baby's behavior as being the issue here. I think he pretty much acts in a developmentally normal manner. I don't see people who think differently as being abnormal, just different. What has to happen is that we need to evaluate what his needs are, identify how they are and are not being met, and go from there.