T-Guy said to me This is the most fun we've had homeschooling in a long time. J-Baby was fussing over writing letters on the second day. I started stressing out when we didn't have time for focused work on Friday.
It makes sense to me. T-Guy thrives on structure, on knowing what comes next each hour of each day. J-Baby wants to do things his way, in his own time. I waver between the two, but when I make plans I want them followed.
What if, I ask Papa, what if we just think about where we want to go and help the boys get there? What if I stop worrying that blocks need to be 3 - 4 weeks in duration? What if I just use holistic education models when the boys want to learn something, on their timetable?
I recognized a strong need for rhythm. Why does that have to be realized as a homeschooling schedule? What if we bring in other ways to mark our days, weeks, and months?
In the wee hours of the morning I decided that I need to make myself more fully present in my home. I'm taking a message board break, unsubscribing from some email lists, and cutting the number of blogs I read to those that truly inspire me. I made a little label for my laptop that asks Is this really what I want to be doing?
When my boys were little I didn't use the computer unless they were sleeping. Now, I think this would be an unrealistic goal at this point, as the computer is a tool for many household tasks and offers a wealth of information that the boys and I can share. But I can cut back on using the computer as a way to connect to other people, the people I don't really know. I probably know more about one mamas recent family crisis than I do about the book T-Guy just read, and that isn't what I want at all.
I'm not making rules. I'm not abandoning the plan I just made. It's a nice roadmap, and we may find it handy now and then. I'm just going to inhabit the space between the perfectly detailed plan and what feels like a lack of rhythm, and see what I can find. How would I spend this day if it was the last day I had with my children? What is my vision of our lives, and am I living in a way that is consistent with that vision?